That awkward moment when your wife reveals on national television that you spent the day before the Iowa Caucuses “buying doggy sunglasses” in Des Moines while she campaigned to be President.

"Kent said to me yesterday that ‘everyone sells out in Iowa, why shouldn’t I.’ Then he told me he would stay with our campaign. The Ron Paul campaign has to answer for its actions."

Michele Bachmann • Discussing the surprise departure of her Iowa campaign chairman, Iowa state Sen. Kent Sorenson, who defected to the Ron Paul camp. This is not good news for Bachmann, especially since the move comes less than a week before the Iowa caucus. Ever since Bachmann won the straw poll in Iowa back in August, it’s been diminishing returns, to the point where some are calling for her to drop out. They’re also calling for Rick Santorum to drop out, but that’s probably not going to happen because Santorum is suddenly on an upswing. For Bachmann, however, she might be reaching her endgame. source (viafollow)

I find this whole thing really interesting. If Bachmann really doesn’t want Romney to get the nomination, the smart thing would be for her to drop out and support Santorum. Otherwise they’re going to split the religious conservative vote and both end up not placing very highly. It will be Paul and Romney, which will guarantee a Romney victory. I think it’s hilarious we live in a world where it could come down to Santorum v. Romney or Paul v. Romney. The guy whose name we can google or the guy who has a history of racism that would make Strom Thurmond blush vs the guy Republicans can’t get behind because he’s a Mormon.

cognitivedissonance:

Of course the debate had to kick off with introductions. Like we had no clue who these people on stage were or why they were there…

My first thought: I cannot believe anyone but Huntsman has a serious chance. My second thought: There’s no way anyone but Huntsman should be anywhere near the nuclear football. Shit, Huntsman is the only one who can properly pronounce “nuclear” with consistency. 

Herman Cain got hardly any questions, and completely, utterly boned the questions that he did answer. So much for the Cain train, folks. Cain claimed our national security has been downgraded. Obama sighed and reminded Cain about this one dude named Bin Laden. He claimed we couldn’t bomb Iran because it has mountains(?), and that if we left Afghanistan, they’d suddenly become BFFs with Iran. Further, he said we must cut off foreign aid to Africa unless we see results. Not too controversial until you place it in context - he was talking about foreign aid for prevention and treatment of HIV. He also managed to fumble Wolf Blitzer’s name, calling him “Blitz.” In short, he knows nothing about national security, places with mountains can’t be bombed because reasons, and fuck people with AIDS in Africa. 

Michele Bachmann went off again about the ACLU controlling CIA interrogations under Obama. Rep. Bachmann, the ACLU would like to have a word with you. Then she launched into a strange point about terrorists and technology changing. Basically, when we first thought about terrorism, phones were attached to the wall with wires and now terrorists have cell phones. Whatever that means. She then claimed Pakistan and the Middle East have seen six attempted terrorist attacks on nuclear facilities. Bachmann also called Perry naive and claimed Obama is threatening national security by canceling the Keystone Pipeline. It’s not cancelled - the U.S. State Department ordered a new route be found for it. Plus, the governor of Nebraska called for the delay, not Obama. Yep. She kept babbling about magnets in regards to immigration.

Shorter Bachmann: Magnets. How do they work? Fuckin’ miracles. On Iraq, she claimed “We need to remember, we won the peace in Iraq. And now President Obama is intentionally choosing to give that peace away.” Uh-huh. Her true gem was when she said she knows all about existential threats. I’m sure Bachmann knows all about existential threats. I question her existence as a serious candidate often.

Jon Huntsman came out strong. He was emphatic that the military buildup overseas and defense budget we are currently running is unnecessary and repeated that any nation building must first begin at home. Huntsman also said strengthening the PATRIOT Act is not the best national security policy because it involves forfeiture of liberties at home - a point introduced by Ron Paul. He called for negotiation with both allies and enemies. Huntsman also ripped Romney a new one after Romney accused Huntsman of wanting America to fail because he suggested drawing down troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. According to Huntsman, indefinite war is expensive and makes us no friends. Who knew? Essentially, his opinions were well-reasoned, thought-out policy positions versus talking points, and he’ll never succeed in the polls with the current GOP. He has the best quote of the night:

“‎I have to say that our biggest problem is right here at home. And you can see it on every street corner. It’s called joblessness. It’s called lack of opportunity. It’s called debt, that has become a national security problem in this country. And it’s also called a trust deficit, a Congress that nobody believes in anymore, an executive branch that has no leadership, institutions of power that we no longer believe in. How can we have any effect on foreign policy abroad when we are so weak at home? We have no choice. We’ve got to get on our feet here domestically.”

Newt Gingrich bloviated whenever the camera was on him. His speech was slurred and he lost his train of thought a few times, but compared to Perry, etc. he was put together. Personally, I thought Newt looked exhausted or ill. He finally found his pet moderator, Wolf Blitzer. Blitzer kissed his ass several times, with questions like, “Mr. Speaker, I remember you and Reagan did x…” and turned to Newt for historical “fact” - until Blitzer led him into the minefield of immigration. Suddenly, friends off. Gingrich posited a fairly reasonable solution (compared to others) in regards to immigration, though after reactions from other candidates, he became slightly incoherent. His idea was that immigrants found to be undocumented, who have close ties to the U.S., would not necessarily be deported. Slightly less radical than Cain’s electric fence. The other candidates pushed him off the moment of compassion, and as soon as CNN started their post-debate coverage, he was all about take-backs with his immigration stance. He also made an odd point about defeating Nazis with our natural resources like oil and our confidence. Gingrich called Ron Paul “my friend” and I think Paul nearly came over the podium.

Ron Paul continued his powerful performance in the debates. He unequivocally opposed the extension of the PATRIOT Act and said we need to get out of the conflicts we’re involved in due to expense and the fact that we’re not directly threatened by any countries with which we’re currently engaged. Paul stated the PATRIOT Act undermines liberty and when several candidates endorsed profiling Muslims (really) Paul just about lost it. He emphasized white people, specifically, American white people, have committed acts of terrorism as well. Remember Timothy McVeigh? Ron Paul does. He also refused to pander to the pro-Israel folks, saying Israel can stand on its own and if it attacks other countries, it should pay the price like any other nation. Paul also said we should end the war on drugs immediately, particularly for medical marijuana patients. Too bad his compassion doesn’t extend farther. Say what you will about Paul, at least he’s consistent. Then he went all Grampa Simpson and said we should export the free market to Africa. We did. It’s called exploitation. 

Rick Perry got little airtime. He had the same night Cain did. Perry kept harping about sanctioning Iran’s bank, which the Obama administration stopped just of doing recently. He criticized the Obama administration for being ineffective, yet praised “our security forces” in regards to stopping recent terroristic threats. Apparently, he’s forgotten Obama is still the commander-and-chief. He finally said that intelligence under the Obama administration has been a failure, apparently forgetting about Osama bin Laden. Perry wants to make TSA more effective by privatizing it, because TSA’s main problem is unions. He endorsed racial profiling like nearly every other candidate. He also said Obama’s debt committee failure was because of the trigger (a republican measure - remember Boehner said they got 98% of what they wanted). His explanation:

“So the idea that you can’t sit down and work with people on both sides of the aisle, but just to, you know, throw us into — into that briar patch at this particular point in time and say, what would you do — we would never have gotten into that situation if I were the president of the United States. I’d have been there working day in and day out so that we had a budget that not only — I’ve laid out a clear plan to — flat tax of 20 percent; cut the spending; and put a 20 percent corporate tax rate in. And, as a matter of fact, they ought to make the legislature, the Congress, part-time, and that would make as big an impact in this city as anything I can think of.”

So yeah, if you can parse that, more power to you.

Mitt Romney was slicker than usual. He didn’t have the tousled hair of a few debates ago. He looked like a presidential Ken doll. Romney suggested TSA needs to be more efficient with pat downs and that some folks could go through faster than others. Oh, and maybe we don’t need to do pat-downs but whatever, sure, next talking point. This caught my attention (emphasis mine):

We need tools when war is waged domestically to ensure that as president of the United States you can fulfill your first responsibility which is to protect the life, liberty and property of American citizens and defend them from foes domestic and foreign. That means yes we’ll use the constitution and criminal law for those people who commit crimes but those who commit war and attack the United States and pursue treason of various kinds we will use instead a very different form of law which is the law afforded to those who are fighting America.

What law? That’s called the Geneva Convention first off - and Romney’s endorsed torture. This is some serious pandering. What about Americans suspected of terrorism? Is that the same as treason? Scary shit, folks. Romney also mispronounced “modernity” multiple times and I feel that says a lot about the GOP. He pointed out America’s approval rating in Pakistan is 12% and we should work with them. I don’t see why Romney is too worried - that’s three points above Congress in a recent CBS/New York Times poll.

Rick Santorum is batshit. Period. I’ll just give a sample of what he said…

On profiling: “Well, the folks who are most likely to be committing these crimes. If you look at — I mean, obviously, it was — obviously, Muslims would be — would be someone you’d look at, absolutely. Those are the folks who are — the radical Muslims are the people that are committing these crimes, as we’ve — by and large, as well as younger males. I mean, these are things that — not exclusively — but these are things that you profile to — to find your best — the most likely candidate.”

On holy war: “We are not fighting a war on terrorism. Terrorism is a tactic. We’re fighting a war against radical Islam.”

On redefining geography: ”Africa was a country on the brink. On the brink of complete meltdown and chaos, which would have been fertile ground for the radical Islamists to be able to — to get — to get a foothold.”

On alliances: Well, I’ve spent a lot of time and concern — and Rick mentioned this earlier — about what’s going on in Central and South America. I’m very concerned about the militant socialists and there — and the radical Islamists joining together, bonding together. I’m concerned about the spread of socialism and that this administration, with — time after time, whether it was the delay in moving forward on Colombia’s free trade agreement, whether it was turning our back to the Hondurans and standing up for democracy and the — and the rule of law. And we took the side with Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro for a corrupt President. We’ve sent all the wrong signals to Central and South America.

Winners: Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul, Magnets, the ACLU, Barack Obama
Losers: Brown people who wish to fly without being profiled, liberty, Americans living in poverty, Herman Cain

Here’s my comments during the debate:

"It’s over 800 billion dollars that we have expended [in Iraq]. I believe that Iraq should pay us back for the money that we spent, and I believe that Iraq should pay the families that lost a loved one several million dollars per life, I think at minimum."

Michele Bachmann on Meet the Press this morning

We invaded Iraq illegally. We killed hundreds of thousands of Iraqis. And this idiot wants them to pay us for the privilege of ruining their country. ThinkProgress notes the GDP of Iraq was 82 billion last year, so if her proposal were taken seriously, every dollar Iraq makes for the next 10 years would have to go to America. Fuck everything about this.

"[Obama] is allowing the ACLU to run the CIA" Bachmann asserted. "We have decided we are going to lose the war on terror under Obama." The ACLU, which issued a scathing report on Obama’s civil liberties record earlier this year, would probably disagree. The ACLU concluded that “most [Bush-era] policies…remain core elements of our national security strategy today.” Bachmann also said the CIA was no longer interrogating anyone, which is false. The CIA is part of the interagency High Value Detainee Interrogation Group, or HIG. Also, prior to 9/11, the CIA didn’t actually have an interrogation program.

The question that initiated that exchange was posed to Herman Cain, who was asked whether he would allow torture as policy if he were elected president. Cain initially said that “I do not agree with torture period, I will trust the judgment of our military leaders on what is torture and what is not torture.” Then Cain contradicted himself—asked specifically whether waterboarding was torture, Cain said that it wasn’t. Many prominent military leaders have spoken out against enhanced interrogation techniques, including Petraeus. Rep. Ron Paul and former Utah Governor John Huntsman had very different answers—Paul argued that torture was illegal and didn’t work, while Huntsman emphasized that when the United States uses torture, “we lose our ability to project certain values around the world.” 

The moderators then pivoted to the killing of American extremist cleric Anwar al-Awlaki in Yemen. Mitt Romney said killing al-Awlaki was “absolutely” the right thing to do. Newt Gingrich emphasized that the killing was consistent with the rule of law, because it was approved by the president and a secret unaccountable panel of national security officials. Which is exactly how the ACLU would do things, right?

Bachmann is aware that Dave Petraeus is the current head of the CIA, right? The last time I checked, he was not “the ACLU”.

  • WALLACE: If President Bachmann had been in charged, wouldn’t Muammar Qaddafi still be in power?
  • BACHMANN: Well he may be but I stand by that decision I think it was wrong for the United States to go into Libya. Look where we’re at today, remember again, Barack Obama said we were going into Libya for humanitarian purposes. It wasn’t humanitarian purposes it was regime change and what’s the result? We don’t know who the next leaders will be…it could be a radical element. It could be the Muslim Brotherhood. It could be elements affiliated with al Qaeda. We don’t know yet who that regime will be. But worse we’ve seen the MANPADS go missing and those shoulder fired rockets that are very dangerous that could fit in the trunk of a car. … This is a very bad decision and it’s created more instability in the region, not less.
  • WALLACE: Are you suggesting that we would be better off with Qaddafi’s dictatorship still in effect?
  • BACHMANN: The world certainly is better off without Qaddafi. … But consider what the cost will be. … We knew who the devil was that was running, we don’t know the next one.
To be fair to Michele Bachmann, even CNN doesn’t know where Libya is.

To be fair to Michele Bachmann, even CNN doesn’t know where Libya is.

"Being reimbursed by nations we have liberated is another. We should look to Iraq and Libya to reimburse us for what we have done for them."

Michele Bachmann

We kill over 100k Iraqis and she wants them to pay us for it.

paxamericana:

timetruthhumor:

With the votes counted, here is the final recap of the 2011 Iowa Straw Poll Results:

  1. Michele Bachmann - 4,823, 28.55%
  2. Ron Paul - 4,671, 27.65%
  3. Tim Pawlenty - 2,293, 13.57%
  4. Rick Santorum - 1,657, 9.81%
  5. Herman Cain - 1,456, 8.62%
  6. Rick Perry (write-in) - 718, 3.62%
  7. Mitt Romney - 567, 3.36%
  8. Newt Gingrich - 385, 2.28%
  9. Thaddeus McCotter - 35, 0.21%

 I think Thaddeus McCotter sounds like a character from a Harry Potter book.

I don’t know anything about Iowa or Ames, but what the hell did Mitt Romney do to them to come in after T Paw, Santorum and Cain?

He didn’t go to it.

(Source: truth-has-a-liberal-bias)